My little H had her hearing aids fitted last week. It was the best moment of my life. Than it itself makes me want to vomit. Let me tell you what happened.
It was one of those events that I didn't know I was stressed about until the morning of it when I couldn't stop crying and still didn't quite know why. My Mum was here to look after Will while I took Harri on my own but due to the waterfall that was my face her and W ended up coming with me. The tube line we needed to get was down. The other one takes longer. Longer to get to the station, longer on the tube. Someone pulled the passenger alarm. We were late and sweaty and oh.so.stressed. But I had managed to stop crying.
We have recently changed hospitals and the new one is amazing. Rocking horses in the reception. A whole floor of toys and games for the kids while they wait. A-maz-ing. Will was happy, Harri was sleeping. Things were looking up.
We were called in for our appointment and they audiologist went about the usual tests. Checking her ears for wax, looking at her ear drum to check for holes, etc, etc. Poor Will was so baffled why it was all happening to Harriet and not him.
And then came the moment. My Mum was holding her as Will played in the corner and I had an eye on both of them. They attached her tiny perfect moulds to the hearing aids and put them in her ears. And then they turned them on. And she began to laugh. A laugh that came from deep in her tummy. One of those wonderful giggles that only children can do. The ones that make your heart swell. She had never laughed before. The audiologist was talking, my Mum was talking, she was listening and she was laughing.
I was sobbing.
It was the most heart breakingly beautiful moment.